Maiden Voyage of The 3-Sailed Ship

Lest it be misconstrued, this is not my HOLY trinity but merely the trio of influences which presently exert considerable force on my being at this messy juncture of my life. I'm not taking potshots at the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. No, my potshots are predominantly directed at me, me, me . . . and my brother. (I'll let the five of them figure out just who I targeted here.) Pow! Right in the kisser.

Wait. Revelation -sidebar necessary if I am to continue this entry guilt-free. If I'm truthful, I did aim a well-directed pot or two at Britney Spears in my recent history. Sorry Britney, but for goodness sake, who hasn't? As long as they get her name right, it's free publicity. Okay, back to our previously scheduled program.

If one truly wishes to go beyond the one-dimensional plane of the title, there is a common link to be found between the three elements. I kid you not! You don't believe me. You think maybe I've stayed up way past my bedtime. Well, here goes. Adjust your tanks and check the seals because we're going deep - spirit, skin, and soil. (Have you noticed I've got a real thing for sets of threes? It extends to microwaves and push-ups, too, but those are for another day.)

According to the Holy Bible of the Christian faith, God gave to us His son, Jesus Christ, and thus extended to us salvation and grace to cover our inability to fully renounce the sins of the flesh in our human state. Christ, through his crucifixion and resurrection, became our CONNECTION to the Father, our God, underpinning each man and each woman who chooses to accept this on faith into a whole and inter-working body. It ain't always pretty, but it definitely works! This ticks me off in my petulant-crybaby Child-of-the-Living-God moments because that whole underpinning thing ain't always easy, either.

Cellulite refers to misshapen fat in one or several specific areas of the body. Though its name comes from the French word for 'cell' and the suffix '-ite' meaning 'disease,' it is purported to do more with the underlying CONNECTIVE tissue which shapes fat and keeps it in place. This ticks me off because magazine images of smooth-skinned size 2 supermodels crept off the pages of SI Swimsuit Edition and Cosmopolitan into my impressionable head as a young girl, and I've got a lovely thing called heredity working its genetic magic on my underlying connective tissues! (Note to self: in this culture, dimples are only cute if they appear on one's face.)

Bermuda grass is an invasive but admirably tough species of grass which creeps along the ground and roots wherever it touches - seemingly instantaneous in my observations - thus CONNECTING one dense mat of gray-green blades to another with alarming reliability of reproduction. This ticks me off because it costs me my sanity and my back each and every summer as one more garden bed loses the subterranean battle of the roots . . . oh, and because golfer's love it! (Hey, I'm allowed to be irritated by that fact. The stuff takes a clubbin' and keeps on pluggin'! Grrrr.)

You see, I told you so. Not so very many degrees of separation was there? Hmmm. I feel vindicated somehow. Do I sense the peg wriggling just a bit? Connectivity is good for something other than cell phones and e-mail. These three seemingly non-related elements bound by faith, tissue, and roots (ooh, looks like gray roots if I don't make my Friday appointment). They sit squarely in my life, almost with a front row seat on my semi-level chest, testing me, plaguing me, stirring up all manner of twitter-patedness within me. l'll knock on those doors a bit louder some other time. They deserve scrutiny. However for now, I want to know something from you . . .

. . . what's YOUR trinity?