I took a late night trip to the Haagen-Dazs website. Originally, my intent was a spell-check: I regularly draw a blank on the a's and 'zs' combo. But, the mystical number 5 lured me back in and held sway over my cerebellum for a time. There, in language so simple and sincere that it almost caused me physical pain to behold, was a list of only 5 easily-pronounced ingredients. Milk, cream, sugar, eggs, and the unique addition which creates the 7-flavor lineup. I swear I developed brain freeze just in the reading!
Of the newly-birthed septuplets - brown sugar, mint, coffee, vanilla bean, milk chocolate, ginger, and passion fruit - the exotics piqued my palate. The ginger manifests as three forms for fullest flavor. Puree, solid, and in the form of ginger juice. When's the last time anyone ever took a hearty swig of what I expect would be gullet-burning juice of the ginger root? But, cleverly mixed with sugar and cream, dare I say 'gingerly' added, I see only the promise of what the product description so aptly describes as "refreshing, with a slightly warm kick of flavor." I want to be warmly kicked right now!
Then, we have the "creamy tropical combination of tart and sweet." Passion fruit. Not a top contender on my food pyramid requirements list, this South American native is described in Wikipedia as an "aromatic mass of double walled, membranous sacs containing orange-colored, pulpy juice and as many as 250 small, hard, dark brown or black, pitted seeds." I simply adore a delightful description, but this surely won't have shoppers moving en masse toward the bin containing these gems of the plant world. But, the juice is rather tasty in an uncommon way. It would lend its arsenal of unique flavors well to the superb custard base of the 5 product line. Who can say NO to tart and sweet? Certainly not I.
Alas, I regret to report that I won't experience any warm kicking, much less in a tart and sweet combination, as it is the milk and cream which do not invoke anticipation within my tummy . . . unless it be a 'rumbly in my tumbly' that would rumble all the way-y-y through if you get what I'm saying to you! These days, I get my kicks, and licks of the cone, mostly via the written word, either writing or reading. When I do imbibe, the results are usually dis-ass-trous for all within kicking distance. It is a true pity. I would make an enormously competent taste-tester for Haagen-Dazs. Do they offer a wine-tasting approach to ice cream? I could look, spoon, envelop, allow the flavors to DE-velop, and upon melting, expectorate. Rinse. Repeat.
If anyone has connections at the mother plant, see if you can get me through the front door. Even the back door. I'm also willing to tackle sorbet. I see there is a new tangy blueberry-cranberry combination. Delightful! An icy scoop, anyone?
Yum!
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