Dear Used-But-New-To-My-Husband GMC Yukon of the Champagne Shade :
Though I consider you 'the other woman' I find I am yet able to like something about you. So, boo-yah! But let me get past a few things first.
He Googled you repeatedly, cruised by you often, showed you off to our son and our neighbors, bragging on your fine qualities and overlooking how high-maintenance you were likely to become on all fronts! He ogles me repeatedly, took me cruising often, showed me off to his family and friends, tells me I am of fine quality and overlooks how high-maintenance I AM on all fronts! While I was in Savannah with my Earth Divas for my first ever girls' trip, he brought you to our house; I found you there, lurking in the shadows as if I wouldn't spot you, but I played it cool and made no mention of your undesireable presence.
You're built like a brick house - literally. Maybe he thinks of you when that funky song fills the cab as you escort him to and fro. I can handle that because though you may have more 'up top' shall we say, I THINK my man still prefers the view of my backside best. You get him for a solid hour, alone, each work week morning freshly showered and each work week afternoon glad to be leaving; he's tired on both ends of the day when we are together but at least WE spoon. Oh, and though he lets others drive you around, he does NOT share me . . . 'nuf said.
But thank you for keeping him safe from those dangerous blind-spot-lane-changing 18-wheelers on the highway. Thank you for bringing him safely home to his wife of 21 years each and every weekday. Thank you for reminding him that while owning one's dream automobile is a dream, it can't fill every mid-life void and who'd really want that anyway? And, finally, thank you for hosting our road trip to New Orleans this year. Don't let your head gasket swell up when I tell you that those 20 hours I spent with my husband and you were better than our time of food and fun in The Big Easy. Hands down.
You made my anniversary trip.
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