I Text You Not!

I was almost the cause of a traffic accident today. Yup, most certainly almost was. Right there on Memorial Boulevard in front of McDonald's just past the Northfield light. And, as humiliating as it is to report, it was text-related. I know! I know! It is illegal. It is beyond ignorant. I have children who drive and have received countless orders from me geared toward the appropriate use of cell phones . . . not to mention accompanying threats if I discover they have veered from the approved course in the matter.

So, WHY, then, did this happen with me at the helm?! Well, let me clarify: yes, it did involve texting; and, yes, it did involve my vehicle executing a sudden braking when I whipped my head up and caught the flashing red of the tail lights on the vehicle in front of my maroon Chevy Silverado double-cab truck. But, I was not glancing furtively at my shiny purple flip-top Sony Ericsson cell phone in a foolish attempt to peruse a random message which, while most assuredly not relaying anything of a life-or-death manner, could cause a life-or-death matter to abruptly and violently occur. No, no, most assiduously no, I say.

Before my neck pivoted my vision back to the windshield where it should have remained the entirely of this little incident, it was the woman in the next lane, seated in the navy 4-door sedan of indeterminate make and model upon whom my high-powered gaze was fixed. Before the intersection light changed from 'stop' to 'go,' I caught her quick little fingers moving over the keys of her cell phone. As the flow of traffic propelled us forward into the next long business block, it ticked me off to no end to realize she was continuing her Class C misdemeanor offense communication. Yes, folks, I almost crashed and created a minor traffic drama in the middle of a manic Monday because I was angrily foaming at the mouth over the texting habits of someone else! Oh, the cruel irony . . .

On July 1st of this year, a law was passed in this here state of Tennessee. I know it was. I heard it on the news. I read it in the newspaper. I praised the gents in their suits and high places for gifting their constituents with this rather speedy decision under Senate Bill 393. I discussed it with my family. However, the stiff fine for this offense concerned me then. And, per the multitudes of drivers behind the wheel in cars next to mine or those of my friends and family and fellow Tennesseans, who still engage in this cellular roulette, the $50 slap-on-the-wrist-holding-the-phone yet concerns me.

Um, folks, a citizen littering in our lovely state is fined $50. That fee rises as the amount of litter-per-litterer rises. While the clean-up of said litter does cost us $11,000,000 just to pick up litter in unincorporated areas of the state (a little known fact, astounding in its own right), its impact is decidedly less than that of a multi-car pile-up on the highway resulting in countless deaths and injuries which then reverberate in a ripple effect of exponential strength and pain (loss, suffering, insurance, funerals, emergency personnel response, and on and on) all stemming from one ignorant person's need to glimpse one more inane 'LOL' on the LCD panel of their Blackberry or IPhone.

Yes, I text. Yes, I understand its appeal, especially with the kids of this thoroughly technological age, though I will always prefer a phone call, letter or e-mail, myself. But, I don't, don't, do not text while I am behind the wheel and engaged with other vehicles on the streets and highways and biways anywhere. There is no equal trade-off in value here: hmmm, discovering your friend is 'OMG, so bored' for the fifth time that day versus taking the lives of a family of five in the minivan just up ahead. That is no exaggeration. THAT is the reality here. And, let's face it, I shy away from the illegal aspects of any activity. Call me silly! I've told my own children that if I hear of them texting and driving, or receive news that they've been spotted by another in the practice, their ability to drive the car or truck under the name of their parents will be revoked on the spot. .

Now, I realize my rule may be considered a bit of a severe imposition on drivers in general, but should not the punishment for the reflex-impairing behavior be a bit more, shall we say, attention grabbing? Perhaps the text-offense merits a larger monetary remuneration for the state's coffers -- slap on another zero to that $50. Or, say, the loss of the offending bit of technology for a month? Next time, a year? Third time, no cell phone for life. Sound familiar? Well, check out a the stats for text-related accidents versus drunk-driving accidents in the past year or two. You may be well surprised. Or, perhaps like me, you won't.

Grrr.

Be responsible. Be smart. Don't text and drive. As they say, the life you save may be your own . . . at the very least.